Well, Eh.. !! ;)

Reason to Smile Part 2 of the weekend: This actually happened at my place yesterday. I have tried to narrate the excerpt below. The one in brackets is something I thought on my mind :P
11.30 AM - I was all set to step out of the house for a 12 pm movie show and there rings the door bell. An elderly man starts talking to me.
Man - Hello beta, do you know me?
Me - Eh... (No ofcourse!)
Man - Well, we used to be your neighbours for many years !
Me - Eh.. (Ya so?)
Man - Can I speak to your mother for a minute?
Me - Eh.. (What the hell.. Why?)
Man - Actually this is with regards to some matrimonial relation I want to speak to her. Dont worry beta, I am not new to her. She knows me. We are all from the same community !
Me - Eh.. (Matrimony?? Get Lost then !)
Man - Can I please come in? I want to meet your mother. Is she there?
And as he is saying that, he starts proceeding towards the room. My mother was having food.
Man to Mom - Hello Ben, Kem Cho? Hope all well.. and bla bla.
I am right there standing in front of them and wondering who is he?
Mom - Oh yes yes, you are Chandalika's (name changed obviously) husband? Now I know you.
Me - (Oh no! God save me now)
Me - Mom, I am getting late, am going. Bye.
Man turns and addresses something to both of us - Wait beta, I have been here for several years and I came to know that you are still single and still searching for the groom. I have my nephew who is very smart, simple, sober and very nice. Would you like to .. ?
Mom interrupts- But whats his qualification? what does he do? where does he stay? what is his family background like?
Man - Actually he is right here waiting downstairs in your building. Should I call him up and make you guys meet? Why don't you ask him directly?
Me and Mom - (WHAT ?!?!)
Mom - But she is going out.  Me - Oh yes, I am going out uncle. Next time please.
Man - Arrey beta, listen.. you at least see him. He is really good looking. He ranks among the top 100 good looking guys around town !!
Me - (LOL :D WTF !!! I surely cant meet him then ) Uncle, if he is so good looking then he must be expecting something equally great from his partner right. So please lets not waste his time. Thanks.
Man - No no beta,nothing like that.. see we have to compromise somewhere. Thodu tame jatu karo, thodu amey jatu kariye :P (U leave a bit, we leave a bit - Lets work it out) Just see him for 5 mins ok?
And then, He without even seeking our consent, dials Bholu (name changed) and within no time he lands up in front of me.
Man - you guys talk in another room and I am here.
Cut to Bholu and Me -
Bholu - Hi, I am Bholu. Whats your name?
Me - Neha
B - Na na, your full introduction please?
Me - Neha Mehta, BA, MBA, PhD, working in an MNC, earning some lakhs as an HR Head and is very fond of writing, travelling, trekking, fighting, reading, acting, and if necessary boxing !! :P (Convinced? OR Should I add more?)
B - Woow, Nice. I have some questions.
Me - Hmm (you have only 5 mins dude)
B - Whats your Emotional Quotient?
Me - Eh.. (Bloody hell.. Whats your IQ to ask me this?)
B - Ok, Whats your understanding about marriage? Are you a shoppoholic or saving mentality? Are you career oriented or family oriented? Are you down to earth or stubborn kinds? Do you believe in adjustments no matter how rich you are? Do you know your priorities? Whats your goal? Are you the supportive kinds or 'leave him alone' kinds?
Me - Eh.. (Are you Amitabh from KBC or Bholu from Mira Road?)
B - See, I work in a call center, night shifts. Trying to now work and set up my own business. I dont want any financial support from my wife but see it is very important that our vision should be the same. We should work towards the same goal you know. I need moral support !
Me - Ya well eh..
B - Acha haan, also I don't want my wife to be so busy with her job that she doesnt have the time to feed my children also. My child should not feel deprived of any motherly love. She should be very well managed and organised. She should all the chores in front of me and under my supervision. And yes, for her my mother and I should come first. Nothing else.
Me - Eh.. (Sorry I let you in my house)
B - Do you know cooking? See, I am very particular about my food habits. She should not be someone who says eat out or take out. She should atleast cook 80% of the time of 365 days at home. Rest 20% I can manage to support her otherwise. I am very foodie. I love home cooked food.
Me - Eh.. (Right now, you are eating my time and head, both)
B - Ok, I also feel two people should understand each other to manage the house. See, my brother had a love marriage.. He also got married to a filthy rich girl but we have now made her adjust to our family needs and wants only. You think you are ready for that?
Me - Eh.. (Dude, one more question and I am now ready to break your head)
B - Ok, You know you seem to be a very fast person to me. I am very slow and I put a lot of focus on each and every word that one says. Also I take time to understand things.
Me - Eh.. (Dude, you are not only slow, you are time consuming too!)
B - Ok, I think I should take leave. Do you have any questions?
Me - No! ( Please leave now!)
B - Ok, Bye!.
Me - Mom, I am finally leaving. Bye !
This entire thing took about 40 mins. As usual I was late for the show and missed the first half hour of the movie :P
God Bless all those who barge in like this and gets their so called work done ! Phew !!
Comment below if you felt you liked reading this long story ! ;)

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